Missing something?
What can I say? It's been fun.
As the Canada page arrives at its tenth birthday, I have finally decided to take it down. Like a lot of things, it's just not the same as it was during the Clinton administration. I go like a year between updates, and frankly it's just kind of boring at this point. I'm not removing it due to any kind of threat or because someone who lives and breathes pure goodness and truth got through to me and made me decide to be a wonderful person. Suffice to say, anyone who needed to see it saw it. Anyone who got the joke had their laugh, and anyone who didn't get the joke by now had their tantrum and isn't going to get it as the years go by. The page became notorious in its own right, and instead of leaving it up forever as it becomes more and more dated and irrelevant, I'll take it down and instead do other things. Besides, at this point I go months between good hatemails and it's not very interesting to intellectually annihilate angry 16 year old kids as a 34 year old guy whose annual income has more than doubled since he uploaded the page's first draft. I also think that the ever-growing numbers of these weird, misguided nationalist crackpots who think that this page spoke for them are retards who didn't get the joke. I really don't care who you are trying to take your country back from (insert natives, foreigners, francophones, etc.) Using my page to justify your dumb racism is pathetic.
Before I go, there are a few things that some people might find interesting about the page during its ten years as the sand in the ointment.
Yes, it was a joke.
Total number of times I have been physically threatened for this page: innumerable.
Total number of people who made good on a threat of physical violence for this page: 0
Number of times I have visited Canada since the page has been up: 3
Total number of legal threats (I.E. "Take this page down or I will sue you." or "Take this page down or I will report you to some government agency."): At least 15
Total number of actual legal actions taken against me for this page: 0
Total number of servers that I have used to host this page: 3
Total number of servers that shut down my account due to complaints about this page: 0
Number of bosses that I have worked for while this page has been up: 5
Bosses who have discovered the page and asked me about it: 5/5
Number of times that a company I have worked for took disciplinary action against me for this page: 0
Number of Canadian girls I have bonked since the page has been up: 2
Number of the girls above who knew about the page before bonking me: 2
Number of successful pranks against me: 2 (one guy subscribed me to like a dozen different Tiger Beat type magazines and another signed me up to a BMG Christian music club, both of which I thought were hilarious.)
Amount of money I lost due to these pranks: $0.00
Number of threatening phone calls: 2
The only thing less funny than a bad joke, is an old joke.
Goodbye and Au Revoir